We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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