Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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