lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
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You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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