Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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