His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This house was built for laser tag.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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