I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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