New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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