ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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