We're like a lot better than the average bears
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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