no, he came in my armpit
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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