Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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