Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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