Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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