Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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