Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize