He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am mentally ready for anal.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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