I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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