apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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