oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
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oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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