How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize