Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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