I cut my penus on the lid.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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