he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize