Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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