I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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