bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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