Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (669): View more from California

  I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (669): I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation. http://tfl.nu/imft
  Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (292): View more from

  i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (292): i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better. http://tfl.nu/myls
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (3284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (1876) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1159) Bad night (5279)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He went soft

  (631): View more from New York

  Wait. During?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb
  Replies (99) Good night (808) Bad night (15764)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor... http://tfl.nu/dk61
  Replies (9) Good night (1909) Bad night (5649)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3402) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me. http://tfl.nu/s2pe
  Replies (20) Good night (1348) Bad night (4730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (9) Good night (2680) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (1939) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  What other scale is there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale. (602): What other scale is there? http://tfl.nu/fdnh
  Replies (17) Good night (2435) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers, http://tfl.nu/ct0l
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent. http://tfl.nu/e5i7
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76
  Replies (9) Good night (974) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

Randomize