It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize