on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your penis caused this!
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