Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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