Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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