names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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