We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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