Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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