Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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