The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize