Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.

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(607): You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar? (405): No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before. http://tfl.nu/y495

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2705) Bad night (615)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!

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(484): I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia! http://tfl.nu/lfqp

Replies (81) Good night (3232) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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(814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e

Replies (27) Good night (4214) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

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(732): ice luge is my downfall... (1-732): ...u mean upfall. http://tfl.nu/2rlo

Replies (11) Good night (2048) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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(202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr

Replies (15) Good night (7181) Bad night (821)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se

Replies (87) Good night (14308) Bad night (2668) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.

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(202): He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like. http://tfl.nu/n0vb

Replies (6) Good night (3022) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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(228): I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me. http://tfl.nu/ndpv

Replies (6) Good night (2309) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.

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(707): admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it. http://tfl.nu/03xs

Replies (2) Good night (1879) Bad night (506)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"

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(617): hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?" http://tfl.nu/pq50

Replies (14) Good night (3494) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.

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(907): Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig. http://tfl.nu/jc5y

Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (804)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

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(719): Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween? http://tfl.nu/i2fu

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.

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(817): It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life. http://tfl.nu/h7k0

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(517): View more from Michigan

Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

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(517): Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time http://tfl.nu/cfap

Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt

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