kristin has been a bad kristin
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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