we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize