You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
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You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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