I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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