Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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