we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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