I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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