toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize