thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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