think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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