just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
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so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
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There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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