whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize