i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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